Winter

              Fragments

1. Sparrow

My bones

have become

winter’s branches;

no warm sparrow lands.

2. 8

The chill came to me on 8

                                              legs, & w/ spinnerets,

                                              wrapped me

                                              like a snack food fly.

3. Chalk

Winter’s fingertips

trace me

in police chalk.

     Diverging

And I see my reflection in glass,

and he is moving at an angle

away from me,

smiling, ‘cause his eyes still see

the possibilities like jacks tossed

from a little girl’s hand; and I see

my reflection, aquiline nose and pearly teeth,

and he is skilled, knows how to ride a horse

in a parade while dressed for a 19^th century war.

And where did we diverge? I think.

and I want to call out “where did our lives diverge?

where did I go wrong?” but his moustache

shows no signs of silver, and this inhibits me,

and I see my reflection in glass, and he is moving

at an angle away from me. Mounted on a glorious steed;

tassels waving from his golden helmet, sword in scabbard,

and now, all I want is to say goodbye---too late! His reflection

has slid off the edge of the building, in a less painful direction.

What About Love?

“What about love?” they ask. Love cures the ghost, that’s all.

You feel your heart running thru a tunnel, seeking and not finding,

or else finding the answer it cannot digest.  “Heartburn is not love,”

says the girl of 19 as she sucks on a joint. “But what about love?”

he asks with his luxurious Italian accent. “I had love once. It was

a movie, a play, a novel.  It was vomit at the break of dawn.  It was

words without a chalkboard.  It was brie and wine on the gritty roof

of a school.  It was sex on the floor while Polynesian masks watched.

Love was her mouth on another man’s cock. Love was my spine

being ripped from my body by a Cupid on bath salts. Love is over.

Love has yet to begin.” 

********************

Drowning

It was Leif Erikson day,

I was drowning,

clawing at the Pacific’s eyes,

kicking at its groin;

then a voice said:

“John McCain’s problem

is he symbolizes Vietnam

to Boomers & Vietnam

to Boomers symbolizes all

that’s wrong w/ America.”

I continued gargling the west coast

when the same voice added:

“The Gulf of Mexico’s

like that popcorn kernel stuck

just underneath the gum-line,

while B.P. is that dirty ol’ string o’ floss

you don’t ever want to see again.”

Kicking at the ocean

like a motorcycle,

driving myself to shore,

water foaming ‘round my face

like Leif Erikson’s tattered Viking beard.

The voice returns

“Didn’t see Palin

down in the Gulf w/ her

drill, baby, drill bull shit!”

And I gargled like a dying pelican.

********************

GARAGE

Purr of the microwave. AM talk of radio

yap of my niece’s Chihuahuas  slam

of sliding glass door.  Echoes of some alien

from an episode of Outer Limits; big glass bowl

of rice peas carrots bits of tuna Michael Medved’s

whiny nasal tone Helicopter blades churning

suburban skies, the unconscious leap of anger,

the drunken duel within a detox brain.  Jetties

of female sexuality like the nylon blonde

in some paperback noir, the helicopter churns,

little boring middle-class

white boy standing beside the hydrant praying

for the world to explode, all this mind-shattering

numbness to end. Anything, a four alarm fire,

an earthquake,  a monster

to leap from father’s chest during dinner,  Anything. 

A thick red line through this poem.

STATEMENT : Police Headquarters. 10:36 P.M.

  

I just lost it kept slashing and slashing and I don’t give a damn what his fucking family says he deserved it I took that kind of cruelty all my life words like that and kept on turning the other cheek and I couldn’t take it anymore he needed to die someone needed to die I died for all of them all of you for so many years all through school what comes around goes around it’s payback it’s your turn step right up and take a knife in the belly and beyond I just lost it I told you I had to do it, it was deserved that son of a bitch on the street of all places right out there on the street he didn’t know me from Adam he deserved it needed it that big mouth son of a bitch showing off for his friends well you push sometimes you get shoved and he got slashed and they tried pulling me off him and one of them screams out this guy’s crazy and I was I was slashing and jabbing and slashing like a machine like a sewing machine jab jab jab jab you know on and on sewing up his final minutes on this planet I’m not a strong man anymore I’ve been sick but I threw everything into his death I was determined that he was gonna die call it premeditated if you want they said why you carrying that knife around yes you’re right I was determined to defend myself always coming across these big sons of bitches who call me things or push me around or take from me and I said one day you’re going into that little shop and buy a knife and next time some punk tries something you are gonna let the monster out and I did oh man it was sweet it was like he called me that name and I let it go you know and he just kept hammering away and then I could literally hear the scraping of the cage door and the monster was out it was like in slow-mo and it was like I opened up and I was no longer this guy with a face and I was a cave and it just came barreling out of the dark and oh man his face when he saw what was gonna tear him apart and man it happened so fast and I was slamming that blade and I knew I couldn’t stop had to fight like a swimmer you know cutting through currents just stabbing through it and I felt fingers at my wrists and voices like helicopters and I saw his mouth that ugly torn mouth and I knew he was gonna die and he saw a lifetime of rage like a murder of crows descending and I seized the power in my hand and never let it go and their fingers and voices scraped at me and some girl’s voice was screaming and I knew she was screaming into a cell phone cause she was screeching about needing the cops the fucking cops this mother fuckers lost it  gone crazy and I’m laughing oh that’s my favorite part I just fucking lost it and began laughing like a madman and I caught a glimpse of his eyes and when I started laughing oh then the fear really anted up oh he realized we were in a poker tournament and I’d raised him a hell of a lot more than that cruel twisted cowardly mouth of his could ever see or call or raise and then it was over too many hands and too much noise just an onslaught of tones and teeth and tongue and it was like my brain was in a blender round and round and it was all blurring into nothing, nothing but this concoction and then I was here.

  I’ll sign whatever you want I did it and I’m glad I did I avenged that little kid I used to be I avenged all the selves I’ve been through the years I’m glad he’s dead it was about time someone hurt other than me.

********************

Keyed

Scratching a trail

through the city,

I see a blue car

outside a steakhouse.

Keyed into its paint job:

“mind your business, bitch!”

Jagged silver font

scratched into

the side of someone’s ride

like USDA PRIME CHOICE

stamped onto a nice

thick cut of beef.